House Speaker John Boehner Mysteriously Begins Prefacing Everything He Says With ‘The American People’

WASHINGTON — In a bizarre turn of events after the recent Republican-led government shut down, House Speaker John Boehner has curiously begun prefacing every complete thought with the phrase “The American people.” During a closed-door breakfast meeting with high-ranking Republican officials, an anonymous source confirmed to The Left Call that at one point during the meeting the Speaker started mumbling incoherently before weeping uncontrollably into his Corn Flakes. “Everything was perfectly normal when all of a sudden the Speaker produced a gavel, banged it on the table, and started talking quietly to himself,” said the anonymous source. “I couldn’t make out what he was saying, I’m not sure if it was even English. Then the room got really quiet, and before we could get a grip on what was happening he started crying over his bowl of cereal.”

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