October 26, 2013

House Republicans Vote To Replace Minimum Wage With Mandatory Employment

CAPITOL HILL — In an unexpected early morning session, House Republicans passed a bill on a party-line vote that will abolish the minimum wage and replace it with what GOP leaders are officially calling Requisite Recruitment. The bill makes employment mandatory for all adult citizens aged 18 to 65. And a provision in the bill calls for compulsory employment beyond retirement age when deemed necessary by an oversight committee, which will also be responsible for suggesting the penalties for non-compliance.

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October 23, 2013

House Speaker John Boehner Mysteriously Begins Prefacing Everything He Says With ‘The American People’

WASHINGTON — In a bizarre turn of events after the recent Republican-led government shut down, House Speaker John Boehner has curiously begun prefacing every complete thought with the phrase “The American people.” During a closed-door breakfast meeting with high-ranking Republican officials, an anonymous source confirmed to The Left Call that at one point during the meeting the Speaker started mumbling incoherently before weeping uncontrollably into his Corn Flakes. “Everything was perfectly normal when all of a sudden the Speaker produced a gavel, banged it on the table, and started talking quietly to himself,” said the anonymous source. “I couldn’t make out what he was saying, I’m not sure if it was even English. Then the room got really quiet, and before we could get a grip on what was happening he started crying over his bowl of cereal.”

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October 6, 2013

Government Shutdown: Republicans Make For A Disingenuous Negotiating ‘Partner’

The Senate passed a comprehensive budget plan back in the spring that would have ended the sequester cuts. It’s no surprise the Senate budget was dead on arrival in the House. Republicans refused to negotiate until a last minute offer by Speaker John Boehner to appoint a conference committee the night before the government would shut down. It was literally minutes before midnight. This was something they could have done for the past six months, but instead Republicans now blame Democrats and President Obama for failing to negotiate over the budget.

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September 23, 2013

Contrary To Republican Hot Air, Most Americans Against Defunding Obamacare

Beware the person who one hundred percent of the time speaks with authority and great confidence. Such is the case with Republicans. While the rest of us try to do what’s right, but know we will sometimes get things wrong, Republican self-deception leads to confident proclamations to the rest of us about how something should be done, and authoritative “lessons” for all of the country to learn. And this is what you are seeing with Republican efforts to repeal the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). Republicans “know” it’s bad for the country (even though it won’t fully kick in until January), and they “know” most of the country is with them. But the reality is, while Americans are quite cynical about government in general, and that includes Obamacare, they are not nearly as brazen as Republican lawmakers.

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August 12, 2013

Conservative Bubble: Republican Congressman: We Probably Could Get The Votes To Impeach Obama

Speaking in Luling, Texas on Saturday, Republican Representative Blake Farenthold said Republicans could probably get the votes to impeach Obama. He apparently ignored the small detail that President Obama is in his second term, and that’s because more Americans voted for him over Romney. That doesn’t phase these Republicans. They live in their own little world, and world we affectionately call the conservative bubble. They talk like they speak for all Americans. — Well of course Obama is a joke, and we need to do something about it. And so yeah, we could impeach him if we decided to vote on it.

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