October 28, 2013 by Raff "The Inkslinger" Hetzron
Washington Redskins Name Change Allows Continued Use Of ‘The Skins’
With growing calls from the public and prominent Native American organizations, Washington’s NFL franchise has bowed to pressure and will change their nickname of over 80 years. During a press conference from FedExField, team owner Daniel Snyder stunned the sports world with a dramatic reversal of his previous stance.
Back in May, Snyder told USA Today, “We will never change the name of the team.” But during his brief statements today, Snyder acknowledged the “Redskins” name is an offensive racial slur, and no professional sports franchise should profit from its continued use. “Effective immediately, our team will no longer go by the name Redskins,” said Synder. “In fact, that will be the last time you hear me say that disrespectful word.”
Snyder said his management team considered many names, but one particular name kept rising to the top. “Because fans have such affection for the shortened moniker The Skins, team management has settled on a new name we believe fans will agree is a perfect fit,” said Snyder. “Starting today, our team will be known as the Washington Potato Skins.”
And The Left Call can confirm exclusively that tomorrow Mr. Potato Head will hold a press conference to voice his displeasure with the new name. “I am saddened the NFL team in our nation’s capital has decided to move from one offensive racial slur to another,” said Mr. Potato Head in a telephone interview with The Left Call. “I think I speak for Potato Heads across this great country when I call for unity and respect for all starchy tuberous crops.”