GOP To Test New Obamacare Repeal Strategy

CAPITOL HILL — After a failed attempt to defund or repeal Obamacare with a government shutdown, and after over forty symbolic repeal votes in the House, Republicans are signaling a tonal shift. With public approval of the Republican Party at historic lows, GOP leaders will roll out a brand new Obamacare repeal strategy they believe Americans will find more amiable. Instead of another plan to hold the country hostage, Republican lawmakers will instead hold their breath, and some may also stomp their feet, and they will not give up until President Obama finally indicates a willingness to be reasonable and work with Republicans to dismantle his signature legislative achievement. But behind closed doors, some reluctant Republicans admit this new strategy is not without risk.

Self-anointed GOP mouthpiece Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) dismisses any notion of dissent, and urges all Republicans to show unity. “All the American people want is for President Obama to show true leadership by giving in to our demands and fully repealing this destructive health care law once and for all,” said Cruz. “Americans want lawmakers in Washington who will stand by their principles, even if it means certain death. I’m willing to take that leap of faith, and I urge my fellow conservatives to join me.”

Democrats have yet to indicate whether they will attempt to hammer out a compromise, or simply allow the Republican mortal cage match to continue unabated.

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