February 15, 2013 by David K. Sutton
9 Reasons To Hate Big Government
Do you hate big government? Does waste and corruption disgust you? Do you loathe incompetence? Do you display a general disdain for those public sector scumbags? Well sit back and absorb these 9 reasons to hate big government.
1. Federal Deposit Insurance (FDIC) — Because we all prefer the freedom that accompanies losing your life savings when your bank goes under.
2. Clean Water and Air — Because life was so much better when our rivers regularly caught fire.
3. Food Safety — Because nothing says individual liberty like biting into a contaminated cut of poultry.
4. National Parks — Because nature is highly overrated.
5. First responders — Because I like my fires to burn hotter, my wounds to bleed longer, and assaults on my person to continue without interruption.
6. Social Security and Medicare — Because I like telling grandma to suck it up and stop being such a whiny little bitch.
7. Consumer Protection — Because I want all children to have the freedom to purchase a Bag O’Glass from Mainway Inc.
8. Minimum Wage — Because I would prefer to leave that up to the conscience of the free market, which as you know, is always looking out for the best interests of the common citizen.
9. Promote the General Welfare — Because I hate welfare queens. I mean, what the hell were those crazy founding fathers thinking?
Government • Humor • Politics